Unless you have been living in a hole with no access to news, you have undoubtedly heard of the scandal involving Congressman Anthony Weiner, who recently resigned after it was revealed that the married congressman had sexual conversations with females, sent females lewd photographs of himself and then publicly blamed the fiasco on a “hacker.” What started as a foray into the temptations of internet anonymity and access, ended with public embarrassment, career destruction and possible divorce. Weiner’s public self-destruction teaches the average married person a valuable lesson in trust, proper marital boundaries and the use of technology to facilitate “internet infidelity.”

Engaging in sexual conversations, flirting and conversing with someone other than your spouse via email, Twitter, Facebook or text messaging destroys the trust between spouses. Often, the ease of communication can lead to very intimate “electronic” relationships that give the appearance of infidelity.  In my opinion, the presence of an “internet infidelity” can be just as devastating to a marriage as a physical affair because the innocent spouse will always believe that a physical affair has occurred or is in the process of occurring. Once the suspicion of an affair takes hold, a divorce complaint often follows since the discovery of adultery usually begins with suspicion.

Adultery is a ground for divorce in Mississippi and is defined as “voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with a person other than the offender’s spouse.” Owen v. Gerity, 422 So. 2d 284, 287 (Miss. 1982). Because of the secretive nature of adultery, direct proof is not required and one may prove adultery by circumstantial evidence. Essentially, to prove adultery by circumstantial evidence, the proof must show (1) a spouse’s adulterous nature, which usually involves infatuation or adulterous inclination and (2) a reasonable opportunity to act on the infatuation or inclination.  Facts that support a finding of adultery have been secretive actions by a spouse, frequent telephone calls and letters to a suspected paramour.  Clearly, engaging in intimate conversations with someone not your spouse over the internet, by text message or other means will likely satisfy the element of proving infatuation or adulterous inclination.  However, unless you are able to prove a reasonable oppurtunity to act on the infatuation or adulterous inclination, then you will be unable to obtain a divorce on the basis of adultery (unless there is an admission or some form of direct proof).

Engaging in actions such as those committed by Anthony Weiner may not constitute grounds for divorce alone, but it is likely that with proper investigation, proof of reasonable opportunity may be discovered.  If you suspect your spouse is committing adultery and you are considering divorce, it is important that you speak with a lawyer before confronting your spouse.  With proper legal advice, steps may be taken to preserve evidence and to make sure you are able to present the strongest case possible. Additionally, if you suspect adultery, it is critical that you do not resume a sexual relationship with your spouse because if you do, the law considers you to have forgiven your spouse of the adultery and you will be unable to use the adultery as a ground for divorce. You may ultimately decide that forgiveness is the best course of action for your family but you should first seek legal advice from a competent divorce attorney so that you have the knowledge to make an informed decision as to your marriage.

One of the most overlooked issues in divorces are the potential tax consequences.  Often, spouses are so focused on just getting divorced that they take actions that are not in their financial best interests.  It is also common for spouses to be so emotionally distraught over the course of a divorce that they refuse to consider options that will benefit them when filing their tax returns.  One example is when spouses have the option of filing a joint return but stubbornly refuse to do so, without realizing that the tax burden could be lessened for both parties.  Here is a good article from Time.com that addresses some important taxation issues in divorces.  And since it is tax time, here’s another that addresses some common mistakes people make in filing their annual returns.

In divorce cases, there is a common misunderstanding among divorcing spouses about the taxation issues associated with payments for both child support and alimony.

Child support is defined by the Internal Revenue Code as a “payment which the terms of the divorce or separation instrument fix (in terms of an amount of money or a part of the payment) as a sum which is payable for the support of children of the payor spouse.”  26 U.S.C.A.  71(c)(1). Basically, child support is a payment ordered in a divorce decree that the divorce decree labels as child support.  There are situations where payments labeled as “child supprt” may not qualify as child support but we won’t get into those right now.  The tax code treats any payment of child support, so long as it meets the requirements of Section 71, as a non-taxable event, meaning that the receiving spouse does not include the child support in gross income (which means it is received tax-free) and the paying spouse receives no deduction for the payment of child support.  26 U.S.C.A.  71.

Alimony, on the other hand, is considered income to the receiving spouse (must pay taxes on it just as if earned at a job) and may be considered a deduction by the paying spouse.  26 U.S.C.A. 71.  There are situations where the Internal Revenue Service may consider a spouse to be receiving alimony even if the payment is not called alimony.  Obviously, this would be a huge problem if the receiving spouse had not been including the alimony payments on her income tax return.  We’ll get into alimony is more detail in a later post.

Many people try to prepare their own divorce documents to save money on legal fees but often their efforts to save money result in unintended tax consequences.  It definitely pays in the long run to get the divorce documents drafted correctly.  You do not want to find out during an audit that the tax-free money you’ve been receiving is not really tax-free.